Joel Beeke gave a great historical overview on Puritan marriage at the Gospel Centered Marriages for a Glorious Church conference. The Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines a Puritan as “a member of a 16th and 17th century Protestant group in England and New England opposing as unscriptural the ceremonial worship and the prelacy of the Church of England.”
Thanks to high school literary curriculum and historical revisionism, my view of the Puritans before the faith came was skewed. I still have some unlearning to do, and I look forward to learning more about their belief that Scripture was sufficient for every area of life.
Beeke talked about the Puritans' positive attitude toward families and marriage. He read the Anglican and Puritan marriage vows. Both vows are wonderfully scriptural, but they are ordered differently. He pointed out that the Puritan vows list “marriage for the mutual help and comfort” (according to Malachi 2:15 and 1 Corinthians 7:3) first, while the Anglican vows place it last.
Beeke mentioned a Puritan author by the name of William Gouge. I was seated beside my friends Chuck and Sarah during the talk. They have been married for two years and they shared that Gouge's book, Of Domestical Duties, has been a great help to them.
Puritan Marriage Procedures:
- Getting to know/like/love each other under supervision
- Contract of espousal [engagement]
- Contract formally announced for three successive Sundays
- Public solemnization of vows
- Civil celebration
- Feasting, tasteful riddles
- Consummation (when marriage is considered official)
Puritan Criteria for Suitable Mates:
- Wisdom in walking in Christ
- Leadership skills, demeanor
- Submission
- Mature & properly motivated
- Fairly equal in class & cultural resources
- Somewhat attractive to each other
The minimum Puritan marriage age was 12 for girls, 14 for boys - in the 16th and 17th century they were attending Yale, Harvard and/or had full-time jobs by age 9. The average age people actually married was 17 to 21; life expectancy at that time was 45 years.
Other Points:
- Husbands love absolutely, purposefully, realistically & sacrificially
- Mutual duties - love, fidelity, joy
- Understood the covenantal principle/covenant theology [would there be as many divorces, or even marriages, if people truly understood and took covenants seriously today?]
- 1 Timothy 4:1-3 prophesies one of the many fallacies of Catholic doctrine (forbidding priests to marry)
- A wife: a helpmeet in business, troubles, sickness, content with husband's work, social standing and financial status, always joy to see him, thrifty without being miserly, sober, modest
- Children were viewed as gifts of God
- Children brought up early on in the nurture and admonition of the Word
- Everyday singing in home up to the glory of God - Psalm 118:15
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