Gospel-Centered Marriages for a Glorious Church, 1/4

From October 27th to the 29th, I attended the Gospel-Centered Marriages for a Glorious Church Conference in Asheville, North Carolina. I plan to do a series of four posts based on my notes from some of the messages I heard, with this being the first.

Scott Brown, an Elder at the Church I have been attending since August, spoke on Ephesians 5:14-33:

• The longest statement in the New Testament about marriage
• The classic foundational text on the roles of husbands and wives
• Gives us language to help us understand marriage and the mystery of Christ and the Church
• Shows how to prepare for marriage
• Shows what it means to be filled with the Holy Spirit 

Text of Ephesians 5:14-33 (NASB): 
^/14 For this reason ^[a]it says,
   “Awake, sleeper,
And arise from the dead,
And Christ will shine on you.”
 ¹⁵ Therefore ^[b]be careful how you walk, not as unwise men but as wise, ^{16 [c]}making the most of your time, because the days are evil. ¹⁷ So then do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is. ¹⁸ And do not get drunk with wine, ^[d]for that is dissipation, but be filled with the Spirit, ¹⁹ speaking to ^[e]one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody with your heart to the Lord; ²⁰ always giving thanks for all things in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ to ^[f]God, even the Father; ^{21 [g]}and be subject to one another in the ^[h]fear of Christ.
 ²² Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord.   For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body. ²⁴ But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything.
 ²⁵ Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, ²⁶ so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, ²⁷ that He might present to Himself the church ^[i]in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless. ²⁸ So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself; ²⁹ for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church, ³⁰ because we are members of His body. ³¹ FOR THIS REASON A MAN SHALL LEAVE HIS FATHER AND MOTHER AND SHALL BE JOINED TO HIS WIFE, AND THE TWO SHALL BECOME ONE FLESH. ³² This mystery is great; but I am speaking with reference to Christ and the church. ³³ Nevertheless, each individual among you also is to love his own wife even as himself, and the wife must see to it that she ^[j]respects her husband./

Three reasons for submission:

• The husband is the head of the wife
• To understand creation order
• To understand the Fall

DESIRE to submit to the Lord is the prerequisite to being a submissive wife.  Studying ecclesiology, which is the theological study of the Christian church, will help you understand what it means to be the Bride of Christ.

Other great points:

• A wife has perfect commands to follow [Holy Scripture], but the Church is the imperfect model [until the Great Day].
• Marriage is not about finding the perfect match, but reflecting the likeness of Jesus Christ.
• Know how to talk to one another without getting into provocation mode.
• A husbands sins are a part of a wife's sanctification and cleansing.
• Communication is enormously important; men must be wordsmiths, they must talk.

William Gouge Quote:
"A husband accepts what she is willing and able to do; takes notice of her goodness; cares where she lives..."

I really appreciated Elder Brown's remark that espousal and marriage is Biblical, while courtship is a convention [that will get people to the point of espousal, or not, in a God-honoring way].