Being a Supportive Wife During Hard Financial Times

I have written a few articles for Associated Content/Yahoo Contributor Network over the past few years. Since Yahoo is shutting down the business entity at the end of the month, I am re-publishing the pieces related to womanhood here.

Being a Supportive Wife During Hard Financial Times:
Musings and Lessons Learned from Washington Irving's "The Wife" (December 2010)

In "The Wife", a short story written by Washington Irving (1783-1859), the narrator's friend is fraught with agony over telling his wife about the financial losses he has suffered. The following article consists of musings inspired by "The Wife".

I recently came across a story written by Washington Irving (1783-1859) titled The Wife. Irving is best known for his short stories, The Legend of Sleepy Hollow and Rip Van Winkle. Although I had not read those stories in years, I remember them as being frightening and satirical, respectively. Imagine my surprise when I sat down to read The Wife, a moving, inspiring, and heart-felt story. The following article consists of musings inspired by The Wife.

Make Dollars Stretch. Everyone at some point has heard a tale of women of who made meals out of nothing, like the Frontier women of old that did not shrink from adversity but rose to be a husband's strongest ally and comforter. I once read of a wife in the Depression-era Ozark Mountains of Missouri that made do with soups of wild herbs.

Money fights and money problems are among the top reasons frequently cited for divorce today. There are so many jewels in prose of The Wife about the nature of trust and love. The narrator's friend is fraught with agony over telling his wife about the financial losses he has suffered. Whether one is a long-time married man who has endured financial storms or a young man hoping and praying that he does not marry the next "Real Housewife" of so-and-so or Peggy Bundy (for the old school readers), The Wife seems like it could be an encouraging read for men.

"...so is it beautifully ordered by Providence, that woman, who is the mere dependent and ornament of man in his happier hours, should be his stay and solace when smitten with sudden calamity; winding herself into the rugged recesses of his nature, tenderly supporting the drooping head, and binding up the broken heart."

The above excerpt is from The Wife. All things considered, I was still bristled by the "mere dependent and ornament of man" phrase until I thought deeper about it. Some ornaments, while dazzling and beautiful, when put under pressure, become nothing more than shattered glass. Yet others can withstand pressure because they are composed of something else entirely.

Make Your Dwelling Place a Home. What makes a home is not elegant china patterns, the newest furniture, or a Martha Stewart dinner spread, but the spirit of honor bestowed upon family and guests. It is making people feel as if they do exist, and matter, when they walk through that door. In the same vein, it does not take a lot of money to make home-cooked meals and have a clean house. Proverbs 14:1 says "the wise woman builds her home, but the foolish tears it down with her own hands."

From The Wife: "There is in every true woman's heart a spark of heavenly fire, which lies dormant in the broad daylight of prosperity; but which kindles up, and beams and blazes in the dark hour of adversity. No man knows what the wife of his bosom is- no man knows what a ministering angel she is- until he has gone with her through the fiery trials of this world."

Though I am presently unmarried, I am preparing for marriage in the case that God has set apart for me a husband, in whom I would highly esteem. Among other initiatives, I am learning to budget my finances while conquering the wiles of covetousness and discontentment. I would love to be a stay-at-home mom. For now, I work diligently and faithfully in my present duties.

I find it helpful to read blogs on homemaking and books on keeping house, such as Home Comforts: The Art and Science of Keeping House by Cheryl Mendelson. My Grandmother recently told me that she was storing five months of food for the winter months. I thought to myself "that's so cool!" She maintains a vegetable garden, stocks her cupboards with food, and keeps a deep freezer full of meat given to her from a relative who fishes and hunts wild game. No cat food for her! Every time I call her she always seems to be returning from taking someone a home-cooked meal.

There are so many women, both young and old who have shared with me valuable concepts on maintaining a well-oiled home. I shall consider their ways and be wise. To me, the heart of The Wife relates to what Apostle Paul said in his letter to the church at Phillipi:

"Not that I speak from want, for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am. I know how to get along with humble means, and I also know how to live in prosperity; in any and every circumstance I have learned the secret of being filled and going hungry, both of having abundance and suffering need. I can do all things through Him [Christ Jesus] who strengthens me"

Sources:
The Sketchbook of Geoffrey Crayon."The Wife" by Washington Irving, 1820; full text: http://www.textfiles.com/etext/AUTHORS/IRVING/irving-wife-596.txt
The Bible (NASB)