This week, after actual sincere prayers, I have awakened to the disconnect between action and belief in areas of my life. I desire to marry and be a keeper at home with children through childbirth and/or adoption. This is a desire I truly did not have as a girl or young woman, and I believe it is God given. In forsaking the pursuit of yet another degree program this week in an effort to conform to my aforementioned desire, I felt as though I was a failure by the world's standard. Henceforth, rather than languish in sorrow, I have no choice but to rely upon God's standard of success.
In meanwhile, I continue to work, hoping to transform my work experience into something that builds on my innate talents and stretches me on a personal level. In my journal I wrote "there is no turning back, I cannot neglect to let God order my day starting in the early morning." Really believing Matthew 6:33, following Jesus' example, and experiencing the fruit that it has borne this week is at the root of that statement.
How can God order my day? Well, besides upholding all things by the Word of his power, it was impressed upon me while I was reading 1 Corinthians 2, that through obedience to the Spirit of God and his revealed will (The Bible) that I can have the mind of Christ.
Other scripture references: Mark 1, Hebrews 1:3
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